A Boy's Best Friend

Two years ago, we got a puppy. A soft, snuggly, little golden puppy who we named Drake. Before Drake, we had a sweet dalmation named Daisy who lived more than 12 happy years. She was an outside dog and spent her days keeping watch over the farm, barking at the mailman, the milkman, and the gas man. She was in charge, but was still sweet and loved to be pet and would nudge her nose under your arm and rest her head on your lap. She wasn't a very child-friendly dog, mostly because she got old and had arthritis and was a little sensitive, but she was Cliff's Dog and she'll always have a special place in our hearts.

When we moved into our current house, we didn't have a dog, but knew we wanted one! We got Drake just three weeks after we moved into the new place. Drake was Cliff's new dog and was going to be a hunting dog. An active, determined, obedient hunting dog. Drake is a hunting dog, but he's a lovable, smushable, kissable, gentle-tempered dog that is the perfect pet for a lovable, smushable, kissable, gentle-tempered baby boy. Just look at how much these two love each other!

Family Time

Our weekends are often scheduled full, and the little windows of time that aren't scheduled are often quickly filled with "family time". For us, family time might be just the three of us laying in bed together until 10:00 on a Saturday morning, playing with toys and enjoying a hot breakfast and coffee or it might be an impromptu gathering of 15 or 20 sisters, brothers, aunts, nephews, grandparents and cousins around an evening bonfire roasting marshmallows and playing tag. It may be spending the afternoon helping Grandpa get a tractor started or it might be enjoying one of Grandma's home-cooked meals at the kitchen table. Sometimes family time is grocery shopping with my sister, a task so much more enjoyable when you have someone to do it with. No matter how we spend our family time, its most often relaxing and always regenerating. Some of my favorite family time is the time Cliff, Gavin, and I end up enjoying at home, the time that is unplanned, working on little projects around the house, working in the gardens, or sitting on the front porch, doing nothing in particular. This week it was the time we decided at 8:30 in the evening to load up Gavin, pajamas and all, and go to Dairy Queen for ice cream. These little windows of time may be the ones I treasure the most...

Gavin in the Wheelbarrow

Just a couple of pictures of Gavin that I thought were cute and worth sharing! These were from a get together at Missy & Colin's house back in June. He was only 7 months old.

Summer Fun

A few weeks ago, I started a post about what we've been up to all summer. I started out by listing what I felt like we were missing this summer and then I started listing what we HAVE done. I never finished the post, but here's how it started...

July 15th has come and gone... I almost can't believe it. In my opinion, July 15th marks the middle of summer. Summer is half over. I'm normally a glass half-full kind of girl, but more and more these past few years, summer has felt like a mad rush to get everything done and winter has seemed to last forever. I love summer and I sure do miss it lately. As of this day...

- We haven't been camping
- We haven't been to the beach
- We haven't been kayaking or canoeing
- We haven't been swimming
- We haven't been outdoors in our bathing suits
- We haven't made iced tea
- We haven't eaten any garden fresh tomatos
- We haven't been to a tractor pull, a truck pull, a demolition derby, or a county fair
- We haven't added any new gardens to the yard
- We haven't built anything
- I haven't drank our Summer Shandy ...although we did enjoy mojitos thanks to Liane
- We haven't dipped our toes in the river...

So, what in the world have we been doing all summer?
- I've been to a few garage sales (thanks Cliff)
- We went to a Family Reunion in Fairmont, MN
- Went to another Family Reunion in Manchester, Iowa
- Gavin's first swim in a swimming pool (inside at a hotel)

I didn't finish the post, which is actually quite alright! Because since I wrote that, we've done so much! We took Gavin up to Breezy Point Resort where he played in the sand and the water, we made iced tea (Jeremiah Weed Sweet Tea thanks to Katie & Adam), I've eaten a bunch of fresh tomatoes from the garden, made BLTs with garden-fresh lettuce and tomatoes, went to a demolition derby and a county fair, fixed up the outhouse and started working on the shed, had a bunch of electrical work done in the house, garage, and shed, I went on a trip and I even laid in the sun in my bathing suit! Turns out that a summer half over is a summer just begun!

Here are just a few pictures of what we've been up to!

Gavin's first parade and his first freezie - River Falls Days (7-10-09):

Gavin's first stay at a hotel (7-11-09). I think he liked the big soft bed!:

Gavin's first swim in a pool (at the hotel):

Gavin is the first to try out Daddy's new boat - in the garage! (7-24-09). Many hours of work and a lot of care went into the building of this boat:

Dinner on the Berggren's patio (7-31-09):

Bonfire at our house (8-1-09):

Hanging out in the yard (8-2-09):

(My sister Kristin says Gavin looks like he's "about to burst" in this photo!)

A summer walk down our road - we do this walk almost every night and see hot air balloons overhead every couple of weeks (8-4-09):

So you see, we've been having a fun-filled summer afterall!

Back in Town

Thanks to all of you who called me, texted me, sent me emails, and left comments on the blog. I really appreciated the encouragement. The time away was easier than I thought, but still very hard. I thoroughly enjoyed my trip and the time spent with my sister. Coming home was wonderful - I could barely get enough of Gavin. I'm glad to be home. I'm glad to have had such a perfect visit with my sister. I'm glad her husband arrived safely yesterday and is now there with her in their new home. I'm even almost glad to be going back to work today.

Thanks again!

Leavin' on a Jet Plane

I tend to only write when I have something happy, pleasant, or exciting to write about. When I am sad, worried, angry, or scared, I usually keep to myself to work it out and don't have much to say. Today, I'm having a hard time dealing with something and decided I need to reach out for help, advice, or encouragement rather than hole up like I usually do.

I have something to be very excited about today... and I AM excited. I am going to visit my sister in her new home in Kansas City! I am very excited. I'm excited to see her, I'm excited to help her organize and decorate her new place, I'm excited for four full days with her - four days that I really don't have to share with anyone else. I haven't been out to visit her in a year and a half (she's been coming here instead). I went once while I was pregnant, and haven't gotten the courage up since then to take Gavin on a plane and go see her. But now she has this new home and she needs a whole lotta estrogen (a.k.a. a sister) to help her make it feel like home! Not only does she need me there, I need to go there! I need to see her, to check out her new digs, to feel like I'm part of this new place. I want to go! I want to take her out to dinner at the place that will become her new favorite restaurant, and take her shopping for what she needs for the house, and make her coffee in the morning with her broken coffee maker. I can't WAIT to get on that plane.

But! ...but, amid all of my excitement, my heart is breaking. I decided not to put Gavin on that plane. I decided Gavin would be better off at home, with his Daddy, in his own house, with his own bed and his own toys, and his Grandmas and Grandpas. I decided he wouldn't enjoy the plane ride at all and although he would love to be with me and my sister, he would miss his Daddy and his bed and he wouldn't get enough sleep. ...and as selfish as it sounds, I probably need the time away from him too. I've never been away from him for 24 hours and it will be 104 hours by the time I get home on Sunday. ...and yes, of course I counted the hours. As I gave Gavin his bottle last night and he drowsily looked up at me, twirling my hair in his fingers, I could barely imagine four nights without holding him while he melted in the comfort of my arms, drifting into a doziness that only a warm bottle and momma's arms can bring. I could barely imagine missing four nights of laying him down in his bed, pulling up his blankie and his little Bla-bla puppy, and watching him roll over onto his belly, little diapered bottom up in the air, blankie curled up into a ball under his belly. I cried because I'll miss him, because I don't want him to miss me, because he won't understand why I'm not there, and I don't want him to wonder if I've abandoned him, because I don't think anyone else can snuggle him quite like I do. I know he'll be okay, and Cliff is the best Daddy in the world and I know he'll give Gavin all the love and care that he needs. And yet, I feel like a horrible parent. I feel like I'm abandoning my baby. I feel like I'm going to be jumping on a plane by Friday to come back home and hold him. I feel like we should have bought two webcams and subscribed to SKYPE so Gavin could see and talk to me while I'm away. So, I could kiss him good night.

Okay, I need to take a deep breath. I need to ask my family and friends to stop by and snuggle Gavin softly and gently, like I do. To take care of Gavin for an hour so Cliff can have a little break that they'll probably both need. To take Gavin for a walk so Cliff can do a load of laundry, take the diapers out, mow the lawn, or just make himself a sandwich. I need to stop worrying, stop thinking about this, and just enjoy my vacation, my valuable time with my sister, my getaway that is just about me and her. I need to let myself sleep in, lay in the sun, shop 'til I drop, enjoy.

Sorry if this post is a downer, it's not like me to confer when I'm down. Just thought maybe you'd have some encouragement for me today, which would be very helfpul!!! Say a little prayer that Gavin and his Daddy have a great weekend and that I remember to enjoy my four days of freedom! : )

Time for change

Guess what I did this weekend?

In My Dreams

In reality, our shed looks like this:

Or if you can imagine it digitally, something like this:

In my dreams, our shed looks more like this (imagine it with grass, trees, and flowers):

It's currently a bit of a fixer-upper, but can't you just imagine it looking all charmingly old with little cupolas on top and carraige style doors? Just you wait. I'll be posting real photos of that in... less than two years. : ) Wanna bet?

Who I Am

"I've always liked the time before dawn because there's no one around to remind me who I'm supposed to be, so it's easier to remember who I am."

- Brian Andreas

I am moved by this quote "Before Dawn" by artist and storyteller Brian Andreas. It is so easy to become who others want you to be, and much more difficult to be true to who you really are. Who you are is not who others want you to be, but who you are because of others. I say this because we are who we surround ourselves with, the moments we experience, the places we see, and the tragedies we suffer. (this reminds me of two poems that I will reference at the end of this post). If we lived someplace else, in a different family, or with no family, we would be entirely different. Our own self is shaped by the life that we experience, both intentionally and unintentionally, purposefully and accidentally, by our choice and against our will. Only a small part of who we are is truly in our control, but that small part is often the most crucial. The part that takes ownership over our life and decides how to live, decides to love, decides to commit, decides to get out of bed each morning. It's easy to lose sight of this drive, this idea that it is up to you to be who you want to be today, to be who you are.

It's natural and normal to respond and react to different environments and different people in a slightly different way. There are certainly conversations you would have with a close friend that you would not have with a professional colleague. You dress differently in different environments, tell different jokes, share different stories... but who you are, what your values are, what is important to you, should remain clear, vibrant, and strong no matter who you are with, where you are, or what has been thrown in your path.

Decide who you want to be, but don't let it change who you are. Decide to love and let yourself be loved, but don't let love get in the way of what else is important to you. Allow love to fit into the life you want to live. Surround yourself with people who support who you are and help those who already love you to understand who you are and who you want to be so you can go foward with them, in harmony. Remind yourself each morning of who you are, where you came from, and where you're going, and ask yourself, "Does this life, this day, this decision allow WHO I AM to shine through?" Take time to remember who you are, when it's just you.

Poems referenced above:

Where Am I From by Nga http://witsblog.org/category/place/page/2/

and "I Am" by Sally Amaka Okafor http://www.pih.org.uk/features/poem_iam.html

A Sight to Behold

Any person with a macro lens or even a point and shoot camera with a macro setting can capture beautiful close-up photographs of flowers. They fill calendars and cover address books. You see them everywhere. However, when they're the flowers from your own back yard, they have a special significance. You have a sense of ownership and pride. You feel blessed to be surrounded by such beauty. This is just a tiny sampling of what's blooming in my shed-side garden right now. I didn't yet capture the enormous sunflower that towers over garden, the rich purple morning glories that climb the front of the shed, the happy brown-eyed susans smiling up, or the brilliant cornflower blue of the flax and blue-eyed grass, but I managed to snap photos of the yellow Coreopsis, orange Blackberry Lily, pink Cosmo, Orange Hawkweed, and purple and white striped Mallow. Aren't they just a sight to behold?

Fixin' Up the Old Place

Many of you know that we built a new house two years ago on an old farm property. We moved out of a tiny little white farm house into a bigger newer house that allows more room for pets, kids, and family gatherings. Although our house is new, we really wanted to preserve as much of the old farmstead as possible, and kept the original silo, outhouse, and shed standing. We used the limestone from the old barn foundation to build our retaining wall and to border our flower beds, and we have plans for preserving and re-purposing some of the other structures in the yard. I've always wanted to own a charming old farm house. Unfortunately, I have little appreciation for the dust, bugs, and lack of closet-space of the old places. Those little details make the old places just a bit less charming. So, when we set up to build a new place, we wanted to make it as charming as an old place, yet make it work with the way we live today. It had to be functional, roomy, and have a lot of storage space. The yard, had to look like we didn't change a thing. We're still working on the landscape. Our fruit trees have to grow a few more feet before they will resemble an old farmyard orchard. We still need to replace the windmill that collapsed under the weight of the wild vines that climbed its legs. We have to paint and trim up the old shed and maybe even add a couple of cupolas. We plan to add a charming dormer-style "entrance" to the poured concrete silo. We tackled one of the smallest of these projects recently... one we figured we could get done in a weekend or two and could do with an 8-month old in tow.

We spent the last couple of weekends repairing the old outhouse on the end of the shed. The wood-shingle roof needed to be completely removed and was replaced with plywood sheeting covered with corrugated tin. The end of the outhouse needed to be jacked up a few inches and reinforced. Some of the missing and broken 'siding' needed to be replaced with "new" weathered, worn wood, and the whole outhouse needed to be stained. Last, but not least, the door needed a moon. We used boards from the shed doors to replace the missing or broken siding, since we wanted to maintain the weathered look. We'll be painting the whole shed, so the look of the boards on the shed is less important. The outhouse is receiving a coat of a semi-transparent deck stain that we hope will allow the "oldness" to show through, yet will still preserve the wood and will make the outhouse stand out a little more. More than a few people who have been to our house more than a few times didn't even know we had an outhouse, so we knew we needed to do something to draw attention to it. It's one of my favorite historic little leftovers from the farm that once operated where our yard now sits. The wildflower garden that we planted infront of the outhouse is such a happy little garden. It all makes me smile.

Here is the outhouse before we began working on it. It's the smaller building on the end of the shed, not the shed itself. The outhouse is a two-seater. Imagine that. It's rough enough to sit out in the cold or the heat in a small room that smells like the inside of a toilet to do your business. I'm not sure that sitting there with another person makes it any easier. I could be wrong though!

See how the whole outhouse is leaning just a little? The left hand side is sagging by about 4 inches. The bottom of the front left corner post is rotted away and the siding boards are all buckled and broken at the bottom.

There is something pleasantly nostalgic about an outhouse. Something that does take you back to simpler times.

An Exerpt from Jim Hobbs' poem, "Little House"

One of my by gone recollections,
As I recall the days of yore
Is the little house, behind the house,
With the crescent over the door.

'Twas a place to sit and ponder
With your head bowed down low;
Knowing that you wouldn't be there,
If you didn't have to go.

Ours was a three-holer,
With a size for every one.
You left there feeling better,
After your usual job was done.

You had to make these frequent trips
Whether snow, rain, sleet, or fog--
To the little house where you usually
Found the Sears-Roebuck catalog.

Oft' times in dead of winter,
The seat was covered with snow.
'Twas then with much reluctance,
To the little house you'd go.

...

Now that's the end of the story,
With memories of long ago,
Of the little house, behind the house
Where we went cause we had to go.

Here is the roof tear-off and replacement. This picture is just before Cliff smashed his thumb. I decided not to include that photo. You may have been able to read his lips and I wouldn't want to offend anyone with such language. : )

Here is what came off the roof. The rope was not on the roof, but look at those boards. They're as soft as the moss that was growing on them!

Cliff cut new boards for the roof. We didn't use recycled wood for the roof since we wanted to be sure that part was strong and sturdy.

After the roof was removed, we jacked up the left side of the outhouse and put some footings under it to keep it straight. We replaced the rotten, broken "siding" and put some old corrugated tin on the roof. It's not the same as the wood shingles that were originally on there, but still true to form. Old, rusty, corrugated tin is as close as we could get to original while ensuring the integrity of the structure. We didn't want more wood shingles that would just rot away again. Cliff also added a "lock" to hold the door closed. Before jacking the end of the outhouse up and squaring it again, the door wouldn't close. Now that the building is level, the door actually closes. The lock on the outside will hold the door closed to keep the critters out.

Once the building was structurally sound again, it was time to stain. We chose a semi-transparent brick red color. I had hoped for just a hint of red, but the wood was so dry and thirsty, it sucked the stain right up. I could only stain about a 6" square section at a time before I had to re-dip my paintbrush. The red is a bit bolder than I had hoped - I sure liked the graying of the old wood. However, I think that soon enough the red will fade and in just a few years, it will probably look perfect!

I wore one of my favorite old t-shirts for this project. The collar is just barely attached and there are more holes in the shirt than not. This t-shirt was a thank you gift from my parents' neighbor. When I was about 12 years old, they went on vacation and my sister and I took care of their German Shepherd while they were gone. That was one of the strongest, most spirited dogs I have ever known and caring for her was really a lot of work for a ten-year old and a twelve- year old girl. When our neighbor came back from vacation, he gave my sister and me each a Yale t-shirt. The white one didn't survive, but the gray one is still holding on. It has been through two of my sisters plus me. My oldest sister had it most recently and I asked her if I could please have it back, holes and all. It is the softest, most comfortable T-shirt I own. I wear it to paint and I wear it to bed. It's best for wearing with your favorite comfy sweatpants on a Saturday morning while you sit by the window with a hot cup of coffee. Sorry, I'm getting off track here...

Once the majority of the outhouse was painted, we were ready for one of the most important parts of any outhouse. The moon. In another poem about outhouses, the moon is said to "let the poop smell out". Our outhouse has no poop smell, but nothin' says privy like a moon in the door. We struggled a bit with the moon. Where should it go? How high or how low? On the wall or in the door? How far off of the floor? Straight up and down, like a smile or like a frown? At an angle just so slight? How does the real moon look at night?

We settled on a perfect crescent, angled slightly a few degrees clockwise. I think it's perfect. Once everything but the door and the roof trim were stained, I stood back and took a look-see. I wasn't sure that I wanted to stain the door. I liked how the door stood out. I liked the way it looked. Unfortunately I had already stained the part of it under the "lock". We decided to stain it and then we could re-paint it light if we decided we wanted to. I want to. I can barely wait. I want to give it a nice transparent grayish white-wash. So that it looks just like it did before I stained it red.

Such a happy little garden. It makes me smile.