Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Ramblings and a Pregnancy Update

I'm 39 weeks pregnant today! I don't have a doctor appointment until tomorrow, so I don't have any new stats for you yet, but since I didn't update last week, I can share those stats! I had gained 3.5 lbs between my 37 and 38-week appointments (and when I weighed myself at home last night, I was up another 2.5 lbs, but that may not be completely accurate since it's a different scale and a completely different time of day). At this point, it seems my weight is really catching up!

Baby's heart rate was 150 at my appointment last week, so it was a little faster than the week before. My blood pressure is still good, and there was really nothing else to report. She checked my cervix and said it was at 1 & wiggle, which is her terminology for just over 1 cm dilated, but not yet 2 cm. I will admit, I don't love having my cervix checked - it's not exactly comfortable to have someone trying to see how many fingers they can get into your non-cooperating cervix. Just saying.

Other than that there was really nothing else to report - I was not yet having any contractions that I was aware of, still no complications to note, just boring as usual, and as they say - that's a good thing!

Since that appointment a week ago, I THINK I've had some contractions, but I'm really not sure. Last Thursday night I was uncomfortable. My belly was just feeling sore and tired and I wanted to put my feet up. I laid on my bed and watched some TV, but my belly kept bothering me, sort of feeling like I was digesting my dinner and was going to need to go to the bathroom soon. It seemed like the discomfort would start on my right side of my back and sort of move around to the front of my belly and then go away for a few minutes before it came back again. I soon noticed I was a little sweaty and was clenching my fists. I decided I was either having contractions or needed to go to the bathroom. I wasn't in pain, just uncomfortable. I decided to get into the bathtub and try to relax and that seemed to stop whatever was happening and my body relaxed and felt better almost immediately. I still can't say for sure that those were contractions, but it seems to me like they probably were. Nothing since then though!

Although when I woke up a couple of hours ago (at 2:00am) I was sort of feeling something similar, but kept trying to go back to sleep. This time I felt like my back was aching, and like I needed to go to the bathroom. I tossed and turned, and went potty and tossed and turned some more, and then finally got up and decided sleep just wasn't going to be my friend. I snuck into Gavin's room (who is now FOUR, may I add) and turned him around in his bed and covered him back up, ate a banana and a scone, and am now sitting here in the living room. The back-ache and discomfort that I was feeling a couple of hours ago is completely gone. Drake has moved from the rug by the front door to the living room rug at my feet. Moses is sleeping on the loveseat. Gavin is now tucked snug as a bug in his bed (he often goes to sleep upside down on his bed, with his feet on his pillow and his covers all bunched up under his head) and hopefully Cliff went back to sleep after I got up - I know I kept waking him with my tossing and turning.

Tonight we're taking Gavin to the sibling class at the hospital, where he'll learn a little more about what to expect when baby comes. We've talked a little bit with him about what to expect when I go into labor - explaining that if the baby comes during the night, we will probably have Grandma and Grandpa come down and stay at our house while Gavin is sleeping, so he could wake up one morning and they might be here. We've also told him that I will need to sleep at the hospital for one or two nights, but that in the daytime, Grandma and Grandpa will bring him in to the hospital to see me and the baby and that probably one night Dad might stay at the hospital with me, but if I have to stay two nights, Dad will stay home with him the second night. We've talked a lot about how much babies can cry and how much they poop and how much they sleep and that we'll have to practice being a little quieter during baby's naps, etc. We've also tried though not to make a huge deal about "when baby comes" because we don't want to create unnecessary anxiety and we don't want to make him resentful of the baby for all of the changes that are likely coming. When we talk about me needing extra rest we say that we all need extra rest so that we all stay healthy. When we remind him not to jump on me or climb on my belly right now, we just remind him that we all need to be gentle with eachother so none of us get hurt - we are really trying not to make it all about the baby.

Tonight, I mean, last night, we got out his baby book and looked through it a little bit. We got it out because it was his fourth birthday and I wanted to tell him a little about when he was born and what a special time it was for all of us. Of course, it was sort of dual purpose because I also hoped that he would see that all of the things we're doing now to prepare for baby, we did when we were expecting him too. I wanted him to see how we had the crib set up for him and we had baby showers and people came to visit and to see him when he was born, etc. I want to make sure that he understands that this is what people do when there is a new baby and that we did it all when he was a new baby too. In a way, it's nice that he just had a birthday because he has some really fun, new things to play with and to help keep him busy!

Of course, I got the guilt trip at bedtime! He had been in and out of his room a couple of times and although he's been GREAT at going to bed lately (knock on wood!), he had a nap yesterday for the first time in two weeks, so that probably didn't help with bedtime. We had also just talked about going in for his flu shot this week and then his 4-yr appt in a couple of weeks when he will likely get some more vaccinations. I wanted to give him a little heads up, but I know it sometimes creates more anxiety if he has more time to think about it, so that could have been on his mind too. Anyway, once he wanted help finding his water bottle in his bed, then he had bumped his lip with his water bottle and was crying and wanted an ice pack, then he wanted to put the ice pack back in the freezer, then he wanted help finding one of his stuffed animals that he lost in his bed...  when he had asked me to come into his room to help him find his "Woodstock" he told me he was sad because he didn't get to play very much on his birthday. Boy, does he know how to play the cards! I immediately felt bad for him. He was at daycare most of the day (until 3pm) and then Cliff picked him up early so Gavin could come out goose-hunting with him. Gavin had been asking to hunt with Cliff, so Cliff made plans to take him out in the goose-pit out in one of our corn fields. They spent an hour or two out there and then came home and were playing with his new race car track when I got home from work. Gavin asked to watch a little TV while I made macaroni & cheese (Kraft) for dinner and then took a quick bath! I know, gourmet dinner! One perk of being 9 months pregnant is getting to crawl into a nice warm bubble bath at 6:30pm with a bowl of Kraft mac & cheese and no one thinks you're being lazy or weird, just pregnant. :) Then of course, when I was finished with my mac & cheese I took a few minutes to paint my toes (in the tub) and then read for 10 minutes while my toe-polish dried. Can't complain too much about that!

Back to the guilt trip though!!! So, Gavin told me that he didn't get to play very much on his birthday. I told him he would have lots of time to play tomorrow because he doesn't have school this week and I would be home with him most of the day tomorrow. Then, he said sadly and softly, and this KILLED me... "But sometimes you don't have any time to play with me."  Talk about breaking my heart! I told him I would make sure that I took time to play with him and he responded with "Okay, then no doing any dishes!"

Obviously, I need to get my priorities straight. Yes, he knows how to pull on my heart strings, there is no doubt. But, I DO feel like lately I have been telling him things like, "Let me finish the dishes and then I'll play with you" or even, and this is bad, "I don't have time to do that right now, Gavin. I have things that I need to do." Eek! I hate that one! I know that it's reality that as adults we have things we need to do, but what does it do to a little boy's soul when his Momma says she doesn't have time to play with him because the dishes or the vacuuming or cooking or blogging are more important? Sheesh! It seems like this wasn't much of an issue when he was still taking naps, but since he hasn't been napping lately and I pretty much go to bed shortly after he does, I just can't seem to find the time for the things I feel are important. I say this, of course, after just having said that I took a bath at 6:30 tonight and took time to paint my toes...  I think I play with Gavin quite a bit, but I don't think that I play the way he wants to play. I spend time with him - we play games, we do activities, we cook together, we play legos, etc. but he wants to play pirates and have sword fights and race matchbox cars around the house and I just don't want to play those things. I'm going to try to set aside a little play time each day - even if it's only 20 minutes - where we do nothing but play how he wants to. I think that although we play much of the day, I get distracted by switching the load of laundry, answering the phone, etc. and so to him, it doesn't feel like I'm playing with him because it's so disrupted and we're both so easily distracted that we can sometimes spend hours trying to play when really we haven't spent a full 20 minutes actually playing.

So, today is a new day. As long as I don't have this baby today, I plan to play. I plan to play with the pirate ships for at least 20 uninterrupted minutes. Then I plan to make sure he gets outside before lunch and maybe I'll PLAY in his sandbox with him. I haven't done that in a while because it's not exactly easy for me to crawl around in the sand right now, but I can probably sit in the sand with him and still drive a truck around or dig a hole or make a "road".

Here's to taking time to play! Have a great Tuesday!

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