Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Oops! Slipped.

This is a little story to entertain you, to get you laughing, to give you an excuse to chuckle at my expense.

I will start by asking you... who ever invented the slip? You know, the silky slippery skirt like thing that we ladies are supposed to wear under our dresses and skirts? I get it, I really do. The idea is that it blocks the light from showing through your skirt and revealing the riske shape of your legs under your skirt. But, hello, this is 2009. I thought I'd be a lady today and wear a slip under my skirt - mainly because my skirt is a casual summery floral piece and is indeed a bit see-through when the sun shines just right. Not that the sun shines inside my building, so I'm not sure why I was worried about it. Heck, I wear a 2-piece bathing suit to weed my garden, why would I be concerned about anyone seeing the general shape of my legs through the fabric of my skirt. We did away with girdles, why do we still have slips? (Although I do admit to owning a few spanx, which may as well be called girdles).

None-the-less, I wore a slip today AND I wore nylons. The older generation might be better acquainted with the term "pantyhose" or "hose" for short. Although don't ask a teenager if they're wearing hose - they most certainly won't know what you're talking about and may wonder how exactly you go about wearing a ho. I only have one white half-slip and this was it. It is mostly white, but has a big orange rust-stain from an unfortunate laundry incident with some tools that Cliff had left in his pants pocket.

I wore my slip over my hose and under my skirt. The waistband falling perfectly on the slippery nylon of my hose. Of course I couldn't feel the waistband, because my hose were sucking in my belly so tight that I could barely feel my legs at all.

Whenever I do wear a slip, I have this fear of my skirt scooting down and me not noticing because all of the waistbands get very confusing and I can never tell if what I can feel on my waist is the top of my hose, the top of my slip, or the top of my skirt. You know where this is going, right?

So, I'm heading into a meeting this afternoon and I feel something touch the back of my calf. My skirt is a knee length skirt, mind you. So, I reach down frantically feeling for what has "slipped", looking down over my notebook and computer in hand, and see that my slip, has... you guessed it, slipped! The waistband of my slip is at my calves and I am in the middle of a major walkway, about to walk into a meeting. A coworker walks by and says something to me totally unrelated to my slip being around my ankles and I grab my slip and hike it (and my skirt bottom) up to mid-thigh as I rush for the ladies room. I get in there and try sorting the whole thing out because now my slip is all bunched up under my skirt, the bottom of it wrapped around the waistband and I'm now late for my meeting. I get it all unwound and it slips right off again. I pull it back up and look to see what it's caught up on so I can fix it and get to my meeting and... it's not caught. It has absolutely NO elastic whatsoever. Where the elastic went, I have no idea. I probably left it in another meeting. So, I stepped out of the slip and tossed the rust-stained, elastic-less slip into the little tin wall-mounted garbage bin in the restroom stall and I went on with my day, slipless... and proud of it. So, if you see the faint outline of my legs through my skirt in the sunlight, just be glad you're not seeing my slip around my ankles instead!

Hope you got a good giggle out of my misfortune. The nylons are hitting the garbage can next!


Dreams and Designs said...

Oh my!!!! Too funny! I don't do slips- but I rarely do skirts either! THey have to have a built in slip or I don't buy them for THIS very reason!

Cousin Barbara said...

This whole slip/skirt thing must run in the family. My co-workers love telling and retelling the story of the day the bottom of my skirt was somehow tucked in completely up to the top of my hose in the back. Of course it was a silky, loose skirt and I had more like tights on, so the fact that I pranced around the office, including the break room conducting converstations with co-workers, and walzing into a meeting that I was to lead with my entire rear end explosed for the world to see. Thank heaven for thick tights.

Anonymous said...

Did you replace the slip or have you decided to give slips up for good?

Erin J said...

I didn't replace the slip. I'm not sure if I ever will!

Anonymous said...

Have you replaced that slip or do you just let people see through your skirt now? lol.