Tuesday, February 17, 2009

House of Poo

It seems lately like we are living in a house of poo. Last night I took out the kitty litter box and it was piled high. This is the first time I have taken it out since before I was pregnant. So, it has probably been a year since I have had to take out the kitty litter. No, no, no, it hasn't been piling up for that entire year - Cliff has been taking it out! But the kitty poo last night was just one bit of poo on top of the already growing pile of poo at our house.

We had a stretch of 40 degree days two weeks ago here in western Wisconsin. It was beautiful. But, if you have ever lived with a dog in a state that freezes and snows in the winter, you know what happens when the snow melts in the yard. All that dog poo that has been buried in the snow all winter long, frozen for safe keeping, is revealed. It thaws, it warms up, it gets all mushy and melty. We had a yard FULL of a winter's worth of warm, mushy, melty dog poo. Last weekend Cliff filled three 5-gallon buckets with dog poo from the yard. Then this weekend he filled another 5-gallon bucket. Let's just say our black raspberries along the fence row will be well fertilized this year!

I'm sure you didn't expect this post to be about pet poo, since we have a baby in the house and we all know that babies make lots of baby poo! Well, you won't be disappointed! Last week, when Gavin got up during the night to eat, I noticed he needed a clean diaper. When I took off his clothes and saw poo on his belly, I just started laughing. I told Cliff that I needed him to turn on a light, since I was going to have to see what I was dealing with. This was no one-wipe diaper. We have had poo come out the back of the diaper, we've had poo come out the legs of the diaper, we've had poo fill the diaper to the brim. But, never had we had poo come out the front of the diaper... up the belly! Until this. This is the FRONT of the diaper.

But that wasn't the end of it. Saturday morning, after Cliff and I had eated our waffles in bed, it was Gavin's turn to eat and Cliff headed outside to cut up some trees. Gavin and I were enjoying our sunny Saturday morning in bed and he thought that would be a good time to fill his diaper. I picked him up to change him and saw that the poo was up his back and leaking through his onesie. No worries, it was bath day anyway. Time for a nice, relaxing, sunny saturday morning bath. So... in order to avoid getting the poo on me or anything else, I held Gavin up on my knee while I filled up his little bathtub on the bathroom floor. It seemed to take forever to fill up. I was holding Gavin so carefully to ensure that I didn't get the poo on myself and testing the water temperature in his little tub at the same time. Gosh it was taking a long time to fill up. And then I noticed it... water all over the bathroom floor. The little drain plug wasn't plugged so the water that I was spraying into the tub was going right out of it and onto the bathroom floor. Lots of water... running wall to wall. Quick, what do I do? I couldn't lay Gavin down because he was all pooey and I couldn't put him on the changing table because he would roll off. So I quickly pulled the changing pad off the changing table and tossed it on the bedroom floor and laid him down. Then I ran back into the bathroom and grabbed all the towels I could find to start mopping up the water before it started running down into the heating vent and under the cabinetry. Of course as I mopped up water, more was still running out of his little tub. I completely soaked three big bath towels mopping up the water. Okay, floor is dry, plug is in tub, let's try again. I filled up the tub and went to get Gavin. Now that I had him on the changing pad, I could just undress him there and carry him into the bathroom. So, I carefully pulled the pooey onesie up over his head, making sure I didn't get the poo on his head. I took off the diaper and started wiping with a wipe. He was completely naked now. I picked him up and with my arm under his little baby tushy, he farted... and then... completely liquid baby poo started running right out... running down my arm. I cupped my hand under him to try to catch it. It stopped and I got up and grabbed a couple of wipes to wipe off my arm and wipe his little tush again. Then I picked him up again and it started again. I put the wipe under him, trying to catch it. We quickly walked into the bathroom. Poo was now running down his legs, down my arm, dripping on the bedroom carpet and the bathroom floor. I could cry or I could laugh. I laughed. Gavin smiled and giggled. Now what? The two of us covered in that liquid yellow baby poo. I couldn't put him in his bath all covered in poo. I turned on my bathroom sink faucet, held him in one arm, while I rinsed off my other arm. When the water coming out of the faucet got warm, but not too hot, I stuck his little tushy under the faucet and washed him from his back to his toes. I washed both of my arms. Then I put him in his tub. I pulled off my sweatpants and my t-shirt and I gave him his bath. After his bath, I dressed him in fresh, clean clothes and laid him in his crib. I picked up his pooey onesie and threw it in my bathtub with the three soaked towels. I sprayed it down. Then I got out the Resolve carpet cleaner and started cleaning the carpet. I did leave the puddle of poo and wipes on the changing pad... part of me just couldn't wait to get in the shower and part of me wanted to leave some evidence for Cliff to see what a morning Gavin and I had while he was outside! I stripped down myself and got in the shower. Gavin was as happy as a clam and I was quickly feeling the relief of soap and hot water! As I stepped out of the shower, Cliff came in the house and said something like, "Oh, I see you got up and showered" ...Grrrrrrr. I kindly pointed out the bottle of Resolve carpet cleaner and the puddle of poo and wipes on the changing pad. Need I say more? (There are no photos of this. A camera was the last thing on my mind.)

Even THAT wasn't the end of it... the next day, Cliff got out of the shower and was walking to his closet to get dressed and he picked up his bare foot and what was stuck to the bottom of his foot? DOG POO!!! I couldn't understand how he could possibly have dog poo stuck to the bottom of his foot when he just got out of the shower??? Apparently he had come into the bedroom earlier with his boots on and must have dropped a clump of dog poo on the floor. Then he stepped in it after he got out of the shower. He had taked several steps with it stuck to the bottom of his foot. Good thing I already had the Resolve carpet cleaner out! Cliff was on his hands and knees cleaning the dog poo from the bedroom carpet! In the year and half that we've lived in this house, never once has there been poo of any sort on the carpeting. Now, twice in one weekend? Good gracious! I'm living in a house of poo! Say a little prayer for a poo-free day!


Renee said...

Oh Erin, I know it was probably very frustrating to you, but it gave me a good laugh!

TheCynicalOptimist said...

holy poo Erin!! The Gonzo cleaner works!

nana banana said...

I think Gavin has taken Millie's title of Super Pooper!! Way to poo!!I mean, way to go!! GB :)